Take a Laxative, Will

 

Take a Laxative, Will

...And the Award for 'Most Awkward Moment in a Musical, Comedy or Variety Show' Goes to...

©2022 Ross Williams

I don't mind saying, I'm torn. I'd say I'm tearing my hair out, but it's not that big a deal, and besides... too soon.

On the one hand, I don't like Chris Rock. He's a decent actor, but he's an entitled, racist asshole who – frankly – deserves far more than a slap across the face. He claims to be a comic, but I don't agree.

On the other, I do like Will Smith for most everything except his rap, which is doggerel set to a juvenile rhythm. He's an excellent actor, as his new Oscar for Best ditto attests, and from all accounts has a stable [if unconventional] marriage, which is scarce in Hollywood.

In case you missed it as I did, and there are certainly many who will have, Chris Rock made a joke about Will Smith's wife during the Oscar Awards show and Will took serious exception to it. The result was the ...well, the slap heard 'round the auditorium. I was about to type “'round the world”, but no one watches these things anymore because most people are thoroughly disgusted by the political horseshit that has become synonymous with Hollywood and its self-righteous “woke” assholery. Especially during their awards shows.

At any rate, I'm torn.

I'd really, really like to be on the Fresh Prince's side here, and pull a Nelson Muntz on Chris Rock. But I can't.

Chris Rock made a joke about Will Smith's wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, who has alopecia. The joke was about Jada starring in the sequel to G.I. Jane, the movie where Demi Moore shaved her head. You can claim the joke was tasteless if you like. It might very well have been. As someone who's losing his own hair, I can sympathize. But I'm a man, and hair loss is part of the male privilege we men all profit by. It's got to be orders of magnitude more distressing for a woman to be going bald, particularly one as attractive as Jada.

And I can sympathize with Will about it, too. I've had people insult my wife in front of me thinking they were being funny, and I've had to defend her honor. “Your wife married YOU?? How gullible is she?”

At any rate, Hollywood insiders, the leftist, liberal, “progressive” elite, have been on a thirty-year program to eradicate “insensitive” japes from the world of comedy. Daniel Tosh famously made rape jokes a decade ago and the Hollywood comedy world circled their wagons against him. “You can't do that!! It's too uncomfortable to women!!” Aww, poor baby.

Apart from rape jokes, Hillary Clinton's haberdashery has been declared off-limits by the super-sensitive left. You can't say “Yo! Medusa! The 90s called and they want their pantsuits back!” Eighty percent of The View, once they recovered from their apoplexy, would have you a trending twit on Twitter if you did.

Also included in comedy's forbidden list is homosexuality, transsexualism and the grooming that goes with it, dwarfism, obesity, ugliness, physical deformities and handicaps all around, mental handicaps of all kinds even when the person serving as the butt of the joke is not strictly mentally handicapped, death, disease, racial distinctions, ethnic distinctions, religious distinctions, gender distinctions, political distinctions, geographical distinctions, social distinctions, economic distinctions, socialist hypocrisies, democrat governors murdering oldsters by putting ill patients in uninfected nursing homes…

...unless the one being roasted is a white, male, WASP, christian, middle-class or greater, and not indisputably leftist.

Why wouldn't involuntary female baldness be included in the list of topics too crude to use for humor? Will Smith would seem to have come to the obvious conclusion that it should have been, and that Chris Rock was way, way out of line. Again. Like he has been countless other times on countless other topics.

Chris Rock deserves what he got. Just not for what he said at the Oscars. So, what the hell:

“Ha ha!”

-Nelson Muntz

Mark your calendars. March 27 2022 may just be the date that the leftist freaks, in Hollywood and otherwise, realize that no topic is verboten to comedy, and that they need to regrow their sense of humor. At the very least, us white, male, WASPy, middle-class non-socialists can go public with our jokes about the left's collective constipation.