Persian Empire ReD’OH!

Persian Empire ReD’OH!
©2012 Ross Williams

This isn’t funny, of course. But among those things that aren’t funny, it’s outright hilarious.

Iran, as everyone knows by now [but some are desperate to ignore] has been building The Bomb for years with the help of North Korea, sometimes Russia, sometimes China, and quite often with Pakistani back-door assistance as well. They’ve made no bones about Israel needing to be relocated elsewhere – possibly in the US, possibly in Europe, possibly in a smoldering crater ... they aren’t really picky, those mullahs. Easy going lads, they are.

Israel, of course, knows Iran is doing this and has been taking detailed notes about the threat Iran poses to them, trying to get the world to listen. Parts of the world don’t really need to be convinced to listen, but much of it ... Those who are desperate to ignore Iran, even in our own country, are busy trying to claim Israel is paranoid and dismissing the whole thing that way. “Have a nosh, Moshe. You’re so tense.”

Every time one of Israel’s neighbors, one of those who’ve sworn on a stack of Korans that they were going to push Israel into the sea, has gotten too close to building a nuclear reactor or long-range missile site, the installation would suddenly blow up. The world has been waiting with baited breath to see if Iran’s secret nuclear lab under a mountain, and that half the world knows which mountain, would itself blow up soon.

A few weeks ago – maybe it’s been a few months now – a car carrying Iranian nuclear scientists to this not so secret lab exploded, killing the scientists. Iranian mullahs and their window-dressing “we’re a democratic republic, honest” mouthpiece President Ahmadinejad, immediately blamed Israel for it. Like that was a newsflash!

Israel didn’t comment on it at all, even to say “no comment”. ...a sure sign that Israel done it. But this isn’t what’s funny.

Those desperate to ignore Iran were quick to jump on Israel for blowing up Iranian nuke geeks, though. But that isn’t what’s so funny about this not funny matter, either; hypocrisy and tepid anti-semitism among the enlightened and “progressive” crowd is only amusing in a clichéd and ironically cynical way at best.

Iran responded to losing its nuclear scientists by bombing – or attempting to bomb – Israeli diplomatic missions in Georgia, India, and Thailand. And I stress “attempting”. There were several bomb blasts, but only one hit anything reasonably targeted: an embassy official coming to work at the Israeli embassy in New Delhi after dropping her children off at school. The bomb was attached by magnet to the side of the car by a person on a motor scooter. The official is now recovering; her driver and some pedestrians had minor injuries. Iran denied involvement and blamed Israel. This denial and blame is an equally sure sign that Iran was behind it, but it is only capable of raising a smirk, not a hearty laugh.

The bomb at the Israeli embassy in Tbilisi Georgia was defused. Iran again denied involvement and blamed Israel.

Bombs of similar-as-to-be-identical construction to those used in India and defused in Georgia were blown up all over Bangkok Thailand the next day. And that’s what is so hilarious about this whole thing.

The first bomb went off in a house being rented by three Iranians; it was apparently accidental. When Thai police showed up to investigate, one of the men threw another bomb at the police which bounced back at the thrower and blew his own leg off. His other leg was amputated by surgeons; he’s still unconscious. The other two Iranians tried to hail a cab in order to get out of dodge; when the cabbie refused to stop for them, they attempted to attach a third bomb to the cab the same way it had been done in New Delhi. It didn’t attach; it went off causing no meaningful damage to anything.

These other two Iranians were both captured, one at the Bangkok airport, and the other at the Kuala Lumpur airport across the border in Malaysia – both with tickets back to Iran. The legless Iranian will be arrested when and if he regains consciousness.

And yes, Iran again denied involvement and blamed Israel. It’s all part of the “Zionist conspiracy” to conceal their own terrorism, according to their Foreign Minister.

...wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

A nuclear Iran is not funny, and it won’t be funny – it’ll be downright tense, actually – waiting for Israel to drop the other shoe so that they don’t get there.

But in the meantime, watching Iran try to out-zionist the Zionists is a laugh riot.

Or maybe it’s just me.