Sexual Predation Made Easy

Sexual Predation Made Easy
©2011 Ross Williams

TSA has made the news a lot recently. Making the news is never a good thing, especially for TSA. They always have to dig out the Newspeak dictionary and get Blobber Bog to smugly explain that no matter how undignified, disrespectful or discourteous a person may feel TSA is, TSA is not and cannot be. Their rules say so ... so therefore the citizen is wrong.

There was a 17 year old in Florida attempting to fly from Jacksonville to Orlando – or possibly the other way, it doesn’t matter – who had a fabric or laminated plastic design of a gun on one side of her purse. She was threatened with detention and “federal offense” over it because a picture of a gun, in the Toon Town which TSA dingbats live in, is indistinguishable from an actual gun. Roger Rabbit may have been able to take the gun off the kid’s purse and shoot out the windows, or something. Who knows? Certainly not the TSA “agent” who invented the “federal offense” out of thin air; and since the TSA’s psychiatrist can’t divulge private medical information we may never know how TSA’s disconnection from reality got started, or when they may be able to function normally off medication.

Most recently, though, is the case of the 85 year old woman at New York’s Kennedy airport who was in a wheelchair and had a back brace under her clothes to boot. She had been selected to undergo the porno-scan and apparently knew that she would fail as she was wearing a back brace. She asked for the pre-flight handjob instead.

And she apparently got it. Behind closed doors. The 85 year old woman in a wheel chair and wearing a back brace under her clothes with a support belt that keeps it in place, went into a back room with two female TSA ninnies, and then comes out a short time later and goes out on her flight.

She claims she was strip-searched; TSA says she wasn’t. Furthermore, she couldn’t have been strip-searched, as strip-searching is not in their “protocol”.

So ... okay ... explain, then, what happened. TSA, in their grand rationalization blog, attempts to patiently explain that the 85 year old woman’s pat down revealed an “alarm” that needed to be “resolved”. In TSA’s own words, the braces were removed and physically screened, deemed to be no security risk, and returned to the woman. Ergo, no “strip-search”.

When asked how they removed the braces under the woman’s clothing without removing her clothing they are curiously silent. TSA would seem to have the technology to accomplish this feat of amazing prestidigitation. Funny, then, that the technology can’t deduce that it is no security risk in the first place.

Or else TSA is going to weasel on their strip-search denial by declaring that they didn’t strip the granny, she did that part herself, so therefore any strip-searching was self-inflicted. This would be an equivocation of Clintonesque proportion, and has never been beneath their collect sense of shame.

Not lost on the critics of TSA’s non-constitutional manhandling is that the TSA itself claims that “Security Officers will not ask nor require you to remove your prosthetic device, cast, or support brace.” “You will not be required to remove any clothing during the process or remove or display the belt that holds your prosthetic device to your body.”

They further say “please do not remove or offer to remove your prosthetic device.”

So, see? the rules right there say that none of what the granny claims they did to her actually happened.

Yet the brace was admittedly removed because it “alarmed”, and it was returned to the woman, and the brace started out and ended up under the woman’s clothing.

But still, no clothing was removed...

This defies the known laws of physics. Not to mention TSA own rules. And further not to mention the Fourth Amendment to the Constitution. It would even seem to run contrary to the judicial hallucinations which have found numerous invisible ink clauses in the Fourth Amendment over the past hundred-plus years allowing the government to conduct searches without a warrant if someone could think of a Really Good Reason® to allow it. None of the Really Good Reasons® invented thus far come close to describing what TSA does, though there are many accurate, if creative, descriptions available for how they do it.

Among those descriptions is “gate-rape”, one of the earlier sarcasms directed their way.

With other items in the news recently, and TSA’s perpetual excuse-making over how their disrespectful and invasive procedures are actually courteous, I got to thinking that perhaps the circumstances needed to merge. If there were, say, a college football assistant coach who wanted to molest young boys in the shower, why, all he’d have to say is that the boy triggered an “alarm” that needed to be “resolved”. That’s how TSA gets around it.

And when enough people get outraged over the side-step of ethics and decency, just issue the following style of “apology”:
TSA contacted the passenger to apologize that she feels she had an unpleasant screening experience.

Two more elderly women with prosthetics have come forward over non-strip-search strip-searches at JFK. It seems to be a ‘thing’ with them at JFK. Hopefully they can get their freak on quickly.

Epilogue: on Sunday, December 11, 2011, the TSA's rationalizer-in-chief, Curtis "Blogger Bob" Burns, explained in the Agency's follow-up that there was a "bit of a miscommunication" and the gate rapists thought she was wearing a money belt. ... because "money belt" is very difficult to discern from "back brace", especially when a person has a predilection for abusing her authority. Dictatorial fiat interferes with one's hearing.

The gate rapists at JFK are being given a "refresher course" on the difference between medical devices and ego trips.