Thanks for the Memories

Thanks for the Memories

©2013  Ross Williams

 

Janet Napolitano, nicknamed Big Sis by the Drudge Report for her Orwellian incursions into US liberties, is stepping down as Head Pain Mistress of our “Slavery is Freedom” Department of Homeland Security – DeHoSec, as it were, to indulge the appropriate Newspeak efficiency.  She’s leaving to take a position as High Schoolmarm of the University of California system, an “Ignorance is Strength” outfit in its own Orwellian right.  She will go from being SecDeHoSec [DeHo, to make the Newspeak even more efficient by removing the redundancies] to HiCal.  So to speak.

Common wisdom holds that there is some conspiratorial pretext for her resignation coming out of phase with the Cabinet turnover that usually accompanies a presidential re-election, and the scandal sheets are all a-twitter over it.  It cannot simply be the $750K salary she will receive.  Among the explanations given by the conspiracy theorists for her oddly-timed departure are:

1] impending fallout over DeHoSec’s ammo buying spree.  In the wake of three notorious mass shootings in recent years, idiot liberals attempted to make Constitutional hay while the sun shone on popular paranoias.  The most recent form this took was for DeHoSec to buy up as much ammunition as it could in states where there was a reasonable likelihood of the state passing laws which would outlaw guns and/or magazine sizes and/or specific types of ammunition.  The thinking [sic] being: why wait on the State Legislature to infringe the 2ndAM?  Do it now.  …because god knows, the federal government has all the money it needs to spend on such things.

2] blowback on our nation’s disastrous immigration policies, and even more notorious non-enforcement of them.  On the one hand, she was very correct, when Governess of Arizona, that a 50-foot wall would be met with a 51-foot ladder – that’s just the nature of the game.  But when she, as head securer of our border security, willfully refuses to comply with federal immigration laws in a fit of PMS because state and local authorities in her ex-state of Arizona show up her DeHoSec time and again by doing what federal law already authorizes them to do, regardless what Arizona’s laws say, that goes beyond incompetence and enters the region of criminal malfeasance.  …which would put her in good company among our National Savior’s Cabinet … but still.

3] festering resentment over her blue-shirted Brownshirts at TSA.  In an apparent attempt to assuage our nation’s Great Disquiet over TSA’s arbitrary and – frankly – psychotic rules on what can and cannot be brought aboard airplanes, and the indignations one has to endure to get there, DeHo announced a relaxation of those rules … to test the waters … to see what would shake out among the public.  So were the pointless exercises of removing shoes and pitching coffee cups discontinued? Was the creepy porno-scope turned off? Did they finally realize that their fears over snow globes and cupcakes-in-a-can made them look like laughable amateur charlatans among legitimate security operations? 

Nope, to all.  They allowed knives and boxcutters to be taken on board, the very weapons which made 9/11 possible in the first place.  Instead of discontinuing those rules which do not, cannot and never would be useful, and periodically adding in new relaxations as the paranoid public lost their irrational fears, they started with step 16 – allowing actual weapons, however trivial.  This, in a population made paranoid by the psychotic rantings of both the Bush and Obama Administrations over American passenger planes.  It was doomed to fail, and I believe they knew it.  And because it did fail – Americans made paranoid by twelve years of fear-mongering US government propaganda hit the roof – the government now has all the justification it needs to continue imposing new and more diabolical nazisms at our airports in the name of security that such rules do not, cannot and never will acquire.

4] full blossoming of DeHoSec’s infamous report listing the security concerns of the United States, and having not one of the concerns being the islamists which made so many attacks against the US – before and after 9/11.  Instead, their report cited Libertarians, the Tea Party, ex-military, social conservatives, fiscal conservatives, anti-abortion activists, those who complain about illegal immigration … essentially, anyone who is not a registered Democrat.  They are all more worrisome to the future security of her United States than dozens of groups of islamists, which together total millions, who have declared war – and have waged that war for decades – on it.

DeHo’s curriculum vitae is quite an impressive history of political cynicism, graft, fraud, shystery, deceit and plain old manipulation, and it’s unfair to judge her based solely on her tenure as DeHo at DeHoSec.  For example, she gained prominence as a loyyer during the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings by representing a witness for Anita Hill, who famously alleged Thomas was a bounder and a cad – which he likely is if only because almost everyone in his position is, but it’s irrelevant to being a Supreme Court Justice.  This witness, in pre-hearing investigation, promised to confirm these allegations before the Senate, but when under oath could not.  DeHo pulled her witness for further consultation, and when retaking the hotseat later, the client gave a story about sudden-onset amnesia.

For this ballsy performance, she was promoted to Attorney General of Arizona, where she made the state safe from office place Christmas decorations.

Following on this success, the future DeHo was elected Governess, and spearheaded a move to rid her state of any electoral influence from one of the two political groups her brand of left-wing lunacy abhors: middle-of-the-road independents.  It would only be later on, in her position as DeHo, when she would be in a position to label everyone not a registered Democrat as terrorists more dangerous to America than the actual terrorists who are waging actual war on the US.

And, of course, there is a further conspiracy theory regarding her oddly-timed departure from DeHoSec: something so vile and sinister, and still unknown to the general public, that it would put all her previous political crimes and misdemeanors to shame.

Then again, many of DeHo’s critics are refusing to speculate on reasons for her departure, and are simply lamenting her arrival in California as HiCal.  She will surely be as despotic and partisan as a college Mother Superior as she was in her previous positions, and the fact that she will be able to impose her loathsome views on tens of thousands of young minds all at once makes many cringe in fear for the future of America.

Most of the young minds she’d be polluting, though, are already done polluted having been steeped in the poison from birth, but she might just serve to inspire those high school graduates not already in goosestep with her nazist views to seek higher education elsewhere – where they might not have to endure as much institutional bigotry as they would at, for example, UC Berkeley.  It was Berkeley, we must remember, that served as the cradle for the hyper-liberal’s infant Free Speech movement … made possible by silencing, forcibly, if necessary, anyone who disagreed with them.

Additionally, those pre-polluted young minds, armed with UC-whatever sheepskins and student loans out their asses, will be looking for jobs upon graduating.  Unless they’re going to stay in California where the Big Ideas® their illiberal education got them will be rewarded, they’ll find it tough going.  Which serves them right.

They’ll even find it tough going in California, which has shown itself over the last several decades to be unfriendly to any type of labor not involved with the self-congratulatory entertainment industry, or technologically infeasible “green” manufacturing.

These nitwits will come to learn that idealistic demagoguery won’t repay their student loans, and that they wasted their time, effort and money – not to mention their integrity – on political quackery.  …although it must be said that they will only understand about their integrity after they turn 40.  And it’s these people who will lead the masses away from the self-indulgent myopia of liberal sentimentalism.  …if we are going to survive long enough to abandon it.

For in the long-run, every system, be it physical, mechanical or political, sets the stage for its own self-destruction.  And DeHo Janet Napolitano – and the countless others who share her strident political psychoses – are setting up their own demise, just by being their intolerant, ignorant selves.

I wish her well in this new undertaking.